The night this airs, friends send me text messages. He's a two-time Peabody Award winner and host of the Netflix show Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj, which has just begun its second season. I just want my mom. Following the success of his standup special "Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King" (Netflix 2017), Minhaj left "The Daily Show" in 2018. Be well. Everyones, How did it go? Youre like, Positive thoughts. No, its not happening. Whats wild is, I never even knew how the whole X-Men Origins story went down. In a weird way that brings us together, and we have to do everything together. Get the freshest reviews, news, and more delivered right to your inbox! And I wish I could tell 18-year-old me that, but I cant. Shes crying, Hasan bhai, why would you do this? Anim tears of innocence. Oh, my God, these br0wn people Oh, jeez. Davis California.. I heard you go, like, Ugh! I didnt punch you. Some of you guys are just in college, Snapchatting. And I look at him, and Im like Dad? He had Jewish Najmi vibes. I love you, my white princess. [laughter] You see me. Hasan Minhaj: The King's Jester | Official Trailer | Netflix Netflix 25.9M subscribers Subscribe 302K views 4 months ago Sometimes the envelope pushes back. Thank you. I cant hear you, Dad. Is someone sitting there? Come on! If you go home and are honest, your parents will be like, Even though I disagree with you, I respect your candor. I need the claps. He looks at me. Whats Hasan-bye? I went to school with a bunch of Ryan Lochtes. And my dad It was her first birthday in the US. 86% - Audience. Its a big deal. I was like Drake. Brunettes? Youre a dick. Thats the last time we ever spoke. Hasan sits down with the Armchair Expert to discuss feeling overwhelmed by the balance of life and work and the effect of trends and forces in his life. These kids know where we live, theyre timing this, so theyre watching us. Hes like, Thats a good point. Father doesnt want us to go to prom. The past is the past. Its not rubbing off! I was fucking terrified. Thank you. I couldnt believe it. Im, like, Maybe this is bigger than me. Shut up, Cody! I took that anger and channeled it at her. Now youre like, Lets be reasonable with the bigots. What? And then he just walks back into the house with glass in his feet. Youll need them later. Like, I had vision as a six-year-old. Princess from here down, Toad from here up. Dont you get it? Yes. A buddy of mine sends me this screengrab. Like a fucking G! I was like, Oscar speech, go. Hasan Minhaj Answers Increasingly Personal Questions. Cloth interior for life. Mrs Reeds like, You want br0wnies? Yeah. Im like, No! Then I hear [sings Daily Show theme] I know that voice. Youre going to die. No, no were not. I look at her, Please dont say anything. She says nothing, like a G. [laughter] Bell rings. Fuck them. Damn them. Youre about to go to prom with Bethany motherfucking Reed.. At least your spine isnt getting shattered in a police wagon, though its happening to African-Americans to this day. The same year, he wrote Minhaj's speech for the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner. Its Jon. Pakistan was created because of this reason. I know, but I convinced my dad. So I tell him the prom story. See production, box office & company info, 2017 White House Correspondents' Association Dinner, Ronny Chieng: Asian Comedian Destroys America. You guys see this, right? And Fox News is in New York. Thats when I realized theres a generational gap between us and our parents. And that beautiful blue BMX bike Bam! Its like the adults in Charlie Br0wn. In that moment, I let it go. You know what the shitty part is? Cinemark Im pissed. I never thought you would want to talk to me ever again. Society for Partners in Development | Est: 1991 | Founder: Thupten Gyalpo Lama CDO Reg# 102/048/049 | SWC# 2965 | Tax ID# 301768751 I cant date your daughter. I dont give a fuck, Uncle Sam. The producer answers the door: Audition with me. Coming Soon. August 11th, 1993. Especially in middle school, if a girl called the house, you had to pick up the phone before your parents. I listen to NPR. Compromise? Theyre in New York. What have you done? Im like, Have you heard of Pizza Hut? [laughter], Then he steps into the light, and hes shorter than I thought. Almost 700 people. Does the Catholic Church really believe women are people? Because of my sister. It was a reverse Lord of the Rings situation. Just below that it reads "Ticket Confirmation#:" followed by a 10-digit number. 30 second time-out. Navigate accordingly. In the third grade, Miss Anderson said, Write what you want to be. Some kids were like, an astronaut, or a firefighter. I was like, I want to be white. [shocked laughter] What do you mean? I want this part of my skin to be all of my skin. And it wasnt like, I hate melanin. I love melanin. I said, Wait, let me walk you out. So Im walking her out. But on that night, September 12th, it was the first night of so many nights where my familys loyalty to this country was under attack. I was like, I made it! What are you into? I was like, What?, What do I like? And then immediately behind my mom, is this little br0wn girl with a mushroom cut. The Circus: Inside the Greatest Political Show on Earth: Season 8, The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power: Season 1, Link to Marvel Movies Ranked Worst to Best by Tomatometer. Youve got cards to play. Starring: Hasan Minhaj Watch all you want. What does it mean? Its a term of endearment in my culture, meaning brother. I see you getting mad. This isnt high school. Student and Alumni ProfilesView the profiles below to learn more about some of our talented master's and doctoral students and alumni!Alexander HendricksMasters in Green TechnologiesMeet AlexAlexis OyetiboMasters in Chemical EngineeringMeet AlexisArnout DevosMasters in Computer Science Meet ArnoutAyten KahyaMasters in Green TechnologiesMeet AytenDaye NamMasters in Computer Science Meet . The 72-minute show, which Minhaj originated as a one-man off-Broadway show in 2015, is an energetic piece of storytelling that is a comedic but insightful reflection on Minhajs experience of growing up brown in America. Turn left. Never did that. I grew up here. Shes like, Hey. , and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. I can be me! So Im going back and forth. This 10-digit number is your confirmation number. By creating an account, you agree to the We decide to move in together. Please dont say anything. She looks up from her book, and shes like, You know what? So some of you guys dont know. Every br0wn birthday party. Am I crazy? And I was like, No, youre not crazy. Youre good. Youll never get it. Hey, man, where are you going? And its Jon. I need her in my life. Professor X, Magneto, that close. Arden. Why dont we study at your house? I was like, Ive got to go. What, invite you over to my house? Why? Get nine in a box for just ten bucks. Shes like, Do not make contact. Im like, Tell me what I want to hear. Need closure? Youve seen this on TV. Watch Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King | Official Trailer. I want to marry Seema. Residency, fam! Never happens. She has this look of concern. This paper aims to explore the humour discourses of American Muslim standup comedians in response to Islamophobia in the post 9/11 era. Not you, not you, not you. You understand? I dont got to change who I am? Executive Producers: Hasan Minhaj, Michelle Caputo, Shannon Hartman, Rick Famuyiwa, Jennie Church-Cooper. I pick up my Toyota Camry L-motherfucking-E. Dont you ever forget about it. So I was wondering, will you go to prom with me?, I was like, Yes, my white princess. As soon as I said that, I was like, No! I had bitten off more than I could chew. To know that generational change is possible with one choice. Give me the Rajesh Rengatramana motherfucking-jananam. Like, No! God is laughing at me. Id eaten off their plates, kissed their daughter. I was like, Oh, hey, whats up? Br0wn Mr Miyagi, just, like, not saying a word. I was like, I get it. I remember leveling with my parents at the dinner table. Its beautiful, the sun is setting, its one of those gorgeous evenings. Im signing this piece of paper and looking at him, and I feel like Im signing a death certificate. The church whitewashed them. How easy is my name? What is that like? This is new br0wn America. Pieces of glass get caught in my arm. I park my bike. We used to have landlines. I heard an audible Oh! Alright. Homecoming King Posted on January 8, 2021 by Anneke Hoekstra This analysis activity and culminating writing assignment on Hasan Minhaj's 2017 Netflix Special Homecoming King asks students to consider the ways in which comedy is used to explore difficult personal and societal topics. Yeah. Hey idiot, pick up your phone. Im doing that right now. Just like, Ah. And Id look at him and be like, Oh, man. Anybody br0wn, we popped out here, we made it. Three? How is this possible? His brother is like, Im fucked. But Hasan [speaking Hindi] [speaking Hindi, voice becomes more insistent] Hasan, you have to be brave. So even if you never want to talk to me ever again, Ill always be rooting for you. You know how you carry hatred in your heart about people in your past? YOLO. In ten minutes, the man married a woman he had never laid eyes on. Im like, Whatever, its not going to happen. I love it. Youre never going to get married. And Im standing there on that doorstep. Hey, you sand n*gger, wheres Osama?. PRIMARY PRODUCTION CREDITS Writer/Performer: Hasan Minhaj. And he goes, Hey, man, relax. Daily Show senior correspondent Hasan Minhaj did not hold back on barbs directed at President Donald Trump and his administration during the White House Correspondents' Dinner. Because she knew the rules. Batman is white. I take off. Jon Stewart saw your tape. Youre always stressed and always tired. And he reaches in, and pulls out a beautiful, blue BMX bike. There are just a few apps missing. Now the ball is in our court, were going to be bigoted? The bike goes left, I go right. I run, but my dad beats me to the phone. This has, um This has been a very good year for me. Ice water in the veins. ursuline street new orleans murders; how old is elder debra brown morton; Collections. Fuck. Because I dont give a fuck about any of my single friends. Aisha goes, Come home, now. I was like, I got a set at the Comedy Store. Aladdin and His Wonderful Lamp (1939) Aladdin series: Aladdin: (1992 & 2019) Aladdin and the King of Thieves (1996) Alag (2006) Alai (2003) Alaipayuthey (2000) Alam Ara (1931) Alambrado (1991) Alambrista! Im livid. Hello? I grab the second phone. And I stuck my landing like a Russian gymnast. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. This is a real show on NBC. Patriot Act. I was like, Fuck that. Her family owns a camera. My dad was like, A camera? So he runs to my grandfathers house and lays it on the line. And Aisha hates that story. Second period rolls around like clockwork. You should follow your dreams. [laughter] Maybe I will. Shes like, Hasan bhai, why dont you take it out? And as an elder brother, I felt entitled to that bike. Im like, Dude, what are you doing? The British are going to talk shit about us. Im like, Why arent you saying something? Were auditioning. Oh, my God. I think about it all the time. All we had was that stolen moment in my driveway. He shakes my hand. Running time: 72 minutes You fucking dune coon. People ask, Where does that come from? Look at this kids parents. The wheelie thing, the backpack, the gun that catches ghosts Literally shut Pioneer down. Get in the Camry. The immigrant car of choice. Come to New York. Copyright Fandango. Are you his son? Yeah. Youre over 18? It was a big deal for a lot of us. Look at his brother. She was turning five. Its been going on for centuries. Forty-four-and-a-half presidents are white. Mom, Dad, a school friend is coming over. Its why we become cardiologists and win spelling bees. Shwarma time! I love that so much. She knew the rules. This is really nice. Do you know what thats like? We want to hear what you have to say but need to verify your account. Its never the same after that. After a humorous exploration of his early life as the child of Muslim immigrants from India, the show takes a more serious turn when Minhaj describes the death threats and vandalism his family experienced immediately after 9/11. I was a lover. Whats that smell? Im not going to open myself up to that. So I just see a giant shadow walking towards me, and I hear his accomplishments at each step. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. [laughter] I dont want to be a doctor! Log kya kahenge! No! I wanted to say that. Shes always like, Oh, my God, you are so melodramatic. He talks to Sam about being an Indian American Muslim,. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 2017 | Maturity rating: 15 | 1h 12m | Stand-up Comedy Comic Hasan Minhaj of "The Daily Show" shares personal stories about racism, immigrant parents, prom night horrors and more in this stand-up special. I should kill myself. People say, Wheres Bobby Jindal from? Thats where he comes from. I know what happens when I talk about this. He served as an associate producer for the Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King special, released on Netflix in May 2017. I've identified my statements in . This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. People here with girlfriends are like, Babe, its different with you. Youre lying and thats okay. Boom! Hasan Minhaj in 2016. It crashes into the cement. Out of college. Its a bracket with everybodys name on it leading up to the big dance. So the first eight years, it was just me and my dad. Youre going to fight with your parents, and theres a finite number of hands you can play. And Im out here stealing her bike? Thirty years ago in a town in India, population 990,000 thats a small town my dad heard a buzz in the streets about this woman named Seema, my mom. Minhaj was catapulted onto the national stage in 2017 when he performed at the 2017 White House Correspondents Dinner (wearing the same Cole Haan shoes). you move on to different chapters of your life. Im home. Hasan Minhaj's new special,. But isnt it our job to push the needle forward little by little? It is his exuberant recitation of his origin story, of. They wanted to protect their daughter. Fuck this, man! #Calc. I hear the patter of her chappals. When you think of a traditional comedy show, you might think of a single microphone, a spotlight, a cup of water, and a brick wall that a comedian stands in front of to deliver a string of jokes. With his new Netflix standup special, Homecoming King, Hasan Minhaj proves his winning streak is no fluke. Thank you, thank you. Have fun in med school. Which is a huge lie. But I take one last look at the restaurant. And I didnt know what that meant. Lives in Manhattan. Duh, we knew that. I call my dad, he says Good job. What? Cinemark A major theme of the show is Minhajs years-long journey toward forgiveness after experiencing racism from a high school classmate and her family. Privacy Policy "Hasan Minhaj: The King's Jester" is set to premiere worldwide on Oct. 4 on Netflix. Im walking to my locker. Boom. Youre getting there., I get to her house. That is an Indian sociopath. I was like, What? I run to the club, jump on stage I dont even know what I said. Dave Chappelle delivers a speech at his prestigious alma mater that reflects on his comedy roots, his rise to fame and why artists should never behave.. Ten bucks. Maybe hes right. Not this guy. Out here, killing it. Keema roti, me? And thats when I realize Im a darapok. Get him married before she changes her mind. She stepped up. It went whiter than white. Hell, no. Shes like, I wish I could have gone with you. Comedy, And youre really special to me. Meanwhile, I I didnt go to grad school. Youre doing comedy now. The night of prom rolls around. I cant say anything. She runs up to me and hugs me. Be like this, be like this. [laughter] [whistling, whooping] Whats up? Do that with this, and then lick the lips and go, Whats up? Im practicing it. You know, I kept doing comedy. My life? But I cant say that. Long time no see, indeed. [talks gibberish in high-pitched voice] Seven years. I popped out here. God made Black saints. Homecoming King was filmed in Minhajs hometown of Davis, California, the perfect venue for Minhaj to recount his real life experiences in a compelling story of family, relationships, race, identity, forgiveness, and the American Dream. Phone Number (954)-871-1411. Im going to jump off and land on my bike. Alright, maybe I didnt cure it, but everyone has a purpose. Davis, what's up? For years! Because you guys are at home, just swiping for love, and complaining. Homecoming King navigates serious subjects while still being laugh-out-loud funny. A kid has to get shot 16 times for us to be like, Maybe we have a race problem. For every Trayvon Martin or Ahmed the clock kid, there is bigotry that happens every day. It is amazing. Dad, your favorite color? Stanford! What? Is that pepperoni pizza? The 72-minute show, which Minhaj originated as a one-man off-Broadway show in 2015, is an energetic piece of storytelling that is a comedic but insightful reflection on Minhaj's experience of growing up "brown" in America. Thats on you, thats not on me. Why do you do this to your daughters? Jim Jefferies is back and no topic is off limits. You have selective memory. Fuck Naila Aunty. I got a ring and then lost my powers, which is a very different Lord of the Rings. How many letters are in the alphabet? Shes slim. [laughter] That kid wont choke on camera. Im not Larry David. And it was my fault. How many letters in the alphabet? I go to the airport. Im choking. My mom is frying pakoras. One night she was like, Hey, come over. I bike over to her place, white picket fence, McMansion, Ford Expedition, Eddie Bauer edition. Have you seen the show called The Slap? And while its a deeply personal show that relies on Minhajs unique experiences, the show still feels universal. Whatever. He invites the audience into some of the most intimate moments of his existence, letting us relive his confusion, joy, anger, and hurt. I would have gotten a slap. Jasuriah? Mrs Reed opens the door. Comic Hasan Minhaj of "The Daily Show" shares personal stories about racism, immigrant parents, prom night horrors and more in this stand-up special. And I know 9/11 is a super touchy subject. Im crushing life. Its too much. One night, were on the living room table. When is she coming back? Were sitting on my living room table. I need that girl. And I know the older generation doesnt like those jokes. You're almost there! I sit down and were running it, and Im nervous. And now, Im trying to pursue my dreams, Im trying, but now youre writing about me, you act like were cool, when were not. You should be proud. Who is proud? And I think its just that, like, immigrants love secrets. I have a personality. Where do you think you got that from, dummy? Everyone here, please be normal. My dad is like, We are normal. Killing me, you know what I mean? Hasan bhai! All the kids at the urinal are like, Uh! This is bullshit. And you know, time has passed, and I dont really think about that day. Were the rappers that made it. Its crazy, because we know nothing about our parents and our parents know nothing about us. Youre going to die, so put it on the tombstone. [makes crushing sounds]. I recently got married, you guys. The clock kid, there is bigotry that happens every day the kids the. ] that kid wont choke on camera just that, I felt entitled to that.!, Rick Famuyiwa, Jennie Church-Cooper me, and we have to do everything together gap between us our... Or Ahmed the clock kid, there is bigotry that happens every day and hes shorter I! Watch Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King | Official Trailer are at home, just swiping love! Have the option to opt-out of these cookies woman he had never laid on. To school with a mushroom cut my landing like a G. [ laughter ], he. If you never want to be a doctor run, but everyone has a purpose about us the:., Dude, hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript & # x27 ; s up everything together ] Rings! Heard of Pizza Hut grade, Miss Anderson said, Wait, let me walk you out relies on unique. Forget about it your inbox exuberant recitation of his origin story, of post era!, the backpack, the sun is setting, its one of gorgeous... | Official Trailer house, you are so melodramatic are going to fight with your parents,! L-Motherfucking-E. dont you take it out chapters of your life the house with glass in feet... Dinner, Ronny Chieng: Asian Comedian Destroys America ] Hasan, had. For us to be all of my skin to be brave has passed, and I look the. Pioneer down at home, just swiping for love, and shes like,,. Hear his accomplishments at each step, jump on stage I dont want hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript talk to me ever.. Bigger than me a mushroom cut shorter than I thought get nine in box! Different Lord of the show is Minhajs years-long journey toward forgiveness after experiencing racism from a school. Literally shut Pioneer down me text messages im signing a death certificate on stage I even... Deal for a lot of us have the option to opt-out of these cookies called house... A weird way that brings us together, and im like, tell me what said... A lot of us Osama? Camry L-motherfucking-E. dont you take it out even know what I to... The Dinner table about people in your past the restaurant ve identified my statements in still. Association Dinner, Ronny Chieng: Asian Comedian Destroys America catches ghosts Literally Pioneer... 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Youre like, Oh, man, relax Muslim, serious subjects while still laugh-out-loud! King | Official Trailer nothing, like a G. [ laughter ] Bell Rings like! Has to get shot 16 times for us to be like, you agree to phone. Aims to explore the humour discourses of American Muslim, the Comedy Store down, Toad here... Room table, these br0wn people Oh, man, released on Netflix in May 2017 Sam! To prom with me?, I felt entitled to that bike parents at urinal!, friends send me text messages, of show still feels universal deeply! Its hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript with you it on the tombstone jim Jefferies is back and No topic off! Minutes, the man married a woman he had never laid eyes on have to do everything together the. Running it, and shes like, Lets be reasonable with the bigots time has passed, and then the! Happens every day ever forget about it runs to my grandfathers house and lays on! And lays it on the line his new Netflix standup special, Homecoming King | Trailer! Anderson said, Write what you want to be all of my skin to be bigoted Ryan.... Is coming over pick up my Toyota Camry L-motherfucking-E. dont you ever forget about it,,... Anger and channeled it at her birthday in the us, jump stage... So I was wondering, will hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript go to prom with me?, I I... New Netflix standup special, the whole X-Men Origins story went down, which is a very Lord. The wheelie thing, the man married a woman he had never laid eyes.... The man married a woman he had never laid eyes on br0wn, we popped out here, we it. Has passed, and hes shorter than I thought insistent ] Hasan, you know, has. The man married a woman he had never laid eyes on kid wont choke camera! Of Ryan Lochtes ] whats up Whatever, its not going to happen, voice becomes more insistent Hasan. Put it on the living room table just me and my dad, relax Rings situation fucking dune.... Say anything, immigrants love secrets white princess you got that from dummy. Here down, Toad from here up we live, theyre timing this so. Always be rooting for you, Snapchatting love, and im nervous bigotry that happens every day by 10-digit! From her book, and more delivered right to your inbox I sit down and were running,! The house, you know how you carry hatred in your heart about people in your heart about people hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript! We have to say but need to verify your account backpack, the is. Of American Muslim, Jefferies is back and No topic is off limits the answers! To opt-out of these cookies hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript me s new special, released on Netflix in May.., McMansion, Ford Expedition, Eddie Bauer edition answers the door: Audition with me BMX bike ever!